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Disagree with Civility: 5 Practices for Leaders

Disagree with Civility: 5 Practices for Leaders

June 1, 2024 by Tracy

Social Media, Controversy, & the Tie to Leadership

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you likely have some awareness of Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker’s recent commencement speech. To put it mildly, his words caused a firestorm of controversy. For my part, I’ve focused less on his viewpoints and more on how people reacted to them.

I don’t concentrate on who’s ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Instead, I scan the comments of a social media post and celebrate when I see outstanding communication and an ability to disagree with civility. Let’s be honest—what I’m really celebrating is effective leadership in action.

Leadership Strengths in Action

The best posts and comments I’ve seen include:

SELF-AWARENESS

Self-awareness guides us to understand our strengths and weaknesses. It
helps us manage our emotions and reactions ultimately fostering a positive
environment whether that be at work, on social media, or anywhere else. By being self-aware, we
align our actions with our values and vision.

What I’ve seen in social media posts: “I know my opinion isn’t
everyone’s. I’m also well aware I can come across as overly blunt. I don’t want
to cross that line here so I’m choosing my words carefully.”

What happens when we add more self-awareness as leaders: When team
members hear us acknowledging our own strengths, weaknesses, mistakes, etc.,
trust and respect grow, and work relationships strengthen.

EMPATHY

Empathy enables us to understand others’ feelings and perspectives. It
includes active listening, recognizing emotions, and responding with compassion
and support. Empathy allows us to inspire and motivate others by showing them
they’re seen and heard.

What I’ve seen in social media posts: “Even though I haven’t lived
what you’ve shared, I can put myself in your shoes and understand where you’re
coming from. I appreciate your perspective.”

What happens when we add more empathy as leaders: When we welcome
empathy in the workplace, we also encourage a supportive and inclusive
environment that improves morale, fosters deeper connections, and reduces
misunderstandings.

CURIOSITY

Curiosity opens communication and sets judgment to the side. It fosters
open-mindedness and active listening, leading to richer interactions. When
people are curious, they ask questions, seek understanding, and connect more
deeply with others. This results in a dynamic exchange of ideas where people
feel part of the conversation.

What I’ve seen in social media posts: “Your stance on this topic is
interesting. Tell me more.”

What happens when we add more curiosity as leaders: Greater curiosity
invites innovation and growth, better decision-making by the leader and the
team, and greater collaboration and team performance.

CLARITY

Clarity in communication is invaluable as it ensures messages are understood
accurately and efficiently. Clear communication eliminates confusion, reduces
misunderstandings, and fosters effective collaboration. It helps in building
trust and credibility as people are more likely to engage and cooperate when
information is straightforward.

What I’ve seen in social media posts: “This is what I’m hearing you
say. Help me understand what I may be missing.”

What happens when we add more clarity as leaders: Clarity is the
starting point for a more aligned team that’s efficient, effective, and
supportive of each other.

RESPECT

Respect is crucial for cultivating a positive, inclusive environment. It includes valuing another’s feelings, boundaries, and perspective. Respect requires active listening, open communication, and treating each other with kindness and consideration.

What I’ve seen in social media posts: “While I don’t agree with your
opinion, I respect your right to have it. Thank you for sharing it here.”

What happens when we add more respect as leaders: Respect promotes
healthy dialogue, enhances team cohesion, and builds a foundation of trust and
understanding.

Keep a Watchful Eye

My guess is the controversy of Harrison Butker’s statements will continue for a while. That controversary will undoubtedly come with an abundance of negativity, judgment, and close-mindedness from people on both sides of his opinions.

I also predict there will be more opportunities to see effective communication in the midst of the online chaos. It’s refreshing, for sure, and strengthens my belief that strong, effective leaders are present everywhere. We simply must keep a watchful eye for the significant contributions they make.

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Stop Hating Mondays.

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