Listening and Learning Go Hand in Hand

When it comes to being a better listener, I often think of this Larry King quote:

“I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.”

Wise words, for sure. King’s idea that listening brings great learning is right on point with what I see in the most effective leaders. When teams are productive, collaborative, and innovative, a leader with exceptional listening skills is typically nearby. In fact, effective listening is shown to reduce the number of misunderstandings by 40% and increase productivity and collaboration by up to 25%.

The question about listening I get most frequently in The Leadership Lab is this: How can I be a better listener?

The answer, I believe, lies in the habits shared in Stephen R. Covey’s classic book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Within each habit are the daily practices needed to take one’s listening skills from ‘meh’ to ‘marvelous’.

The 7 Habits are Your Guide to Better Listening

Habit 1: Be Proactive

Take Responsibility for Listening- Proactive listening means taking the initiative to truly understand what your team member is saying rather than passively hearing the words being said. Practice active listening by focusing entirely on the team member, avoiding distractions, and acknowledging the message. This involves making a conscious choice to be fully present in the conversation.

Try this:  Set aside preconceptions, and listen with an open mind. Show that you’re engaged with good eye contact, nodding, or using verbal affirmations like, “I see” or “Tell me more.”

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind

Have a Listening Goal- Understand the purpose of your listening. Are you trying to understand the other person’s feelings, gather information, or solve a problem? Keeping the end goal in mind helps you stay focused and ask relevant questions that guide the conversation toward that goal.

Try this: Before engaging in a conversation, remind yourself what you hope to achieve by listening. This clarity can help you stay on track and maintain your focus.

Habit 3: Put First Things First

Prioritize Listening- Allocate dedicated time for important conversations. Avoid multitasking during these moments to ensure that listening is your primary focus. Prioritizing listening means recognizing its importance and giving it the attention it deserves.

Try this:  Schedule uninterrupted time for important discussions, and inform others when you need to focus entirely on listening to avoid interruptions.

Habit 4: Think Win-Win

Seek Mutual Understanding- Effective listening involves understanding the other person’s perspective and seeking solutions that benefit both of you. By approaching conversations with a win-win mindset, you’re more likely to listen empathetically and foster a collaborative atmosphere.

Try this: During a conversation, express your intent to understand and find a mutually beneficial outcome. Use phrases like, “I understand your point, and here’s how I believe we can work together on this.”

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Empathetic Listening- This habit is at the core of effective listening. It involves listening with the intent to understand the speaker’s thoughts and feelings before expressing your own. Empathetic listening builds trust and demonstrates respect for another’s viewpoint.

Try this: Practice reflective listening by paraphrasing what the other person says. Ask clarifying questions such as, “So what you’re saying is…” or “Can you elaborate on that?”

Habit 6: Synergize

Collaborative Listening- Synergistic listening involves recognizing that the combined insights of both parties can create a better solution than individual ideas. Embrace diverse perspectives and actively listen to find common ground and innovative solutions.

Try this: Encourage open dialogue, and be willing to listen to different viewpoints. Ask questions that stimulate deeper thinking and collaborative problem-solving.

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

Continuous Improvement in Listening- Regularly reflect on your listening skills and seek ways to improve. This habit emphasizes the importance of self-renewal and continuous growth, which includes honing your ability to listen effectively.

Try this: Seek feedback on your listening skills from trusted colleagues, team members, and friends. Engage in activities that enhance your focus and mindfulness such as meditation or active listening exercises.

Dive Right In for Better Listening

As I shared above, these 7 habits– and the ‘Try this’ ideas—are designed to take your listening skills from a low, ‘meh’ rating to one that’s through the roof and marvelous. Are they all simple enough? I believe so. Does that mean they’re also easy? Not necessarily.

Sadly, effective leadership doesn’t come with an easy button. Commit to these practices, though, and you’ll find you’re better equipped to foster improved communication, deeper understanding of your team members and their needs, and more meaningful relationships with them. With results like those, there’s no better time than now to dive right in!