Leadership & That Pesky Self-Doubt
“I honestly think it always comes back to confidence. Or perhaps I should say a lack thereof.”
These were my client’s words on a recent coaching call. I’d just commended her for the bold action she’d taken in a discussion with her boss, the CEO, a few days before. As she described her preparation for the discussion and then the subsequent conversation, I heard effective leadership in action: emotional intelligence, assertive communication, and the courage and presence to say what needed to be said. She, the Chief Human Resources Officer for this rapidly growing company, focused only on the self-doubt she’d felt while engaging in the conversation.
And she’s not alone. As a leadership and executive coach, I’ve worked with leaders who hire me to help them improve their executive presence, conflict management skills, strategic thinking, emotional intelligence, listening skills, and countless other leadership skill areas. Nine times out of ten, once we dive into our work together, we find the culprit at the bottom of the ‘why am I not getting the results I want’ heap: self-doubt.
Researchers have found that 56% of leaders question an aspect of their leadership on a monthly basis; 42% question their leadership within the past week; and over half (54%) experience long-term, chronic leadership doubt.
Your Path Out of Leadership Self-Doubt
Without question, self-doubt is a natural part of leadership, and while it can feel discouraging, the presence of self-doubt doesn’t have to define your leadership journey. Instead, you can harness it as an opportunity to grow, develop resilience, and become even more effective in your role. Here’s how to turn those moments of uncertainty into powerful learning experiences.
- Own your self-doubt.
Recognize when self-doubt appears, and give yourself permission to feel it without judgment. This self-awareness is crucial for moving forward. When you name the doubt, you take away some of its power and make it easier to address.
For instance, if you start doubting a recent decision, instead of letting that doubt fester, acknowledge it and ask yourself, “What specifically am I uncertain about? What evidence do I have that supports or contradicts this doubt?” By addressing self-doubt head-on, you make space for constructive analysis rather than letting fear guide you.
2. Reframe your negative thoughts.
Self-doubt often stems from negative thought patterns. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking, “I’ll never be as strong a leader as that person is,” or “I’m not the best person for this role.” These thoughts, however, are rarely based on fact. By reframing these negative thoughts, you can shift your perspective and boost your confidence.
When you catch yourself thinking something negative, pause and reframe it. Instead of “I’m not qualified for this role,” shift your mindset to, “I’m capable of learning what I need to succeed.” Instead of dwelling on past mistakes, remind yourself of the lessons you’ve learned and how they’ve made you a better leader today. Developing the habit of reframing negative thoughts results in a boost in self-confidence, the antidote to self-doubt.
3. Focus on your strengths.
In moments of doubt, most people focus on weaknesses or past failures. This creates a distorted view of your leadership abilities. To counter this, take time to focus on your strengths.
Create a list of your key strengths as a leader. What are you naturally good at? What do others often compliment you on? Regularly remind yourself of these strengths, especially when self-doubt creeps in. This doesn’t mean you should ignore areas where growth is needed but focusing on what you’re doing well can help balance your perspective. By highlighting your strengths, you’ll not only feel more confident but also be better equipped to tackle challenges from a place of empowerment rather than fear.
4. Practice self-compassion.
As a leader, you may be your own harshest critic, but being overly self-critical only reinforces self-doubt. Instead, practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a colleague or team member.
When you make a mistake, avoid the temptation to dwell on it. Instead, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” and then let it go. Leaders who practice self-compassion bounce back from setbacks more quickly and are less likely to get stuck in a cycle of doubt and regret.
5. Take action even when uncertain.
One of the most effective ways to combat self-doubt is to take action. Self-doubt often paralyzes leaders, causing them to second-guess themselves or delay important decisions. However, waiting for complete certainty holds you back.
Instead, make a commitment to move forward, even when you feel uncertain. Start by taking small steps. Each action you take builds momentum and reduces self-doubt. The more you practice making decisions in the face of uncertainty, the more confident you’ll become in your leadership abilities. As you gain experience, you’ll learn to trust your instincts and navigate uncertainty with greater ease.
6. Celebrate your wins.
Finally, take time to celebrate your successes. It’s easy to focus on what hasn’t gone right, but acknowledging your achievements reminds you how far you’ve come. Whether it’s completing a project, leading your team through a challenging time, or simply making a difficult decision, recognize and celebrate those wins.
Keep a journal of your successes, both big and small, and review it anytime self-doubt arises. This serves as a powerful reminder of your capability and progress as a leader.
Unlock Your Leadership Potential
I recently heard author Scott Mautz share that confidence isn’t the absence of self-doubt but rather the ability to effectively manage it. There’s no question about it; self-doubt is going to make an appearance. It’s a natural part of every leadership journey. When you approach it with curiosity and conviction, however, you unlock your potential to lead with greater resilience, effectiveness, and success.
