Leadership & That Pesky Self-Doubt “I honestly think it always comes back to confidence. Or perhaps I should say a lack thereof.” These were my client’s words on a recent coaching call. I’d just commended her for the bold action she’d taken in a discussion with her boss, the CEO, a few days before. As […]

Understanding Bids for Connection My niece introduced me to the concept of bids for connection. In her matron-of-honor speech at her sister’s wedding reception, she encouraged the brand-new spouses to practice this concept created by Dr. John Gottman. Bids for connection are small gestures or attempts one person makes to connect with another. In personal […]

Listening and Learning Go Hand in Hand When it comes to being a better listener, I often think of this Larry King quote: “I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.” Wise words, for sure. King’s idea […]

Make It Stop! The 4th of July holiday stirs up childhood memories of carnivals hosted by our local volunteer fire department. While the memories of cotton candy and carnival games bring a smile to my face, those of rides with twists, turns, and jolts make my stomach weak. I remember one such ride I climbed […]

Social Media, Controversy, & the Tie to Leadership Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you likely have some awareness of Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker’s recent commencement speech. To put it mildly, his words caused a firestorm of controversy. For my part, I’ve focused less on his viewpoints and more on how people […]

Falling into the Fill-in-the-Blanks Trap In a recent coaching session, my client shared her belief that her job is in jeopardy. She said she’s extremely stressed and spends her days—and nights—worrying about her future with the organization. All of this came as a great surprise to me as she’s been in her Director of Operations […]

Muddy Puddles and Leaky Ceilings In his recent newsletter, James Clear explains that he divides problems into two categories: muddy puddles and leaky ceilings. He says: “Some problems are like muddy puddles. The way to clear a muddy puddle is to leave it alone. The more you mess with it, the muddier it becomes. Many […]

The Push to Get It Done- Now! Over the past few weeks, I’ve talked with several people in a rush to accomplish their desired outcomes. A salesperson approached me and impatiently anticipated my ‘yes’ after asking me just one question. A business acquaintance assumed she’d sign a new client after a very brief introduction to […]

A Roadblock or an Opportunity for Growth- You Choose Effective leadership is a cornerstone of a thriving workplace, but what happens when leaders clash due to differing styles, beliefs, and approaches? Several months ago in a coaching session, an executive relayed the struggles he was experiencing with a fellow executive at his workplace. Based on […]

The Rushed Madness December Brings December. The final month of the year. Notorious for end-of-year deadlines, high expectations, annual goals to complete, and, of course, a surplus of stress. Not exactly the elements holiday movies are made of, right? The elements are familiar, though, from my experience as an operations leader. I remember the rushed […]

Superhero Syndrome in Action Superhero Syndrome was alive and well (?) in a recent conversation I had with a department leader. Client: These two team members—they know what to do. They’re such strong team players, and they’ve been with the company for a combined 23 years. To put it simply, they know their stuff. The […]

Love It and Hate It at the Same Time Two contradictory truths can be simultaneously true. I think of this principle every year when, in May, our crape myrtle bush is an unsightly, brown gaggle of bare branches. As June turns to July, the branches get longer, greener, and fill with buds. In August the […]

Who do you know? Do you know someone (maybe even yourself) who enjoys… My guess is that you’re able to think of people you know who excel in some of the six actions listed above. And you likely chose a couple of favorite actions of your own, too.

The Scene I saw the eyes rolling. The elbow jabs. The comments being whispered back and forth. The shaking of heads with ‘you just don’t understand’ smiles on faces. I noticed the comments shared with the group were more of the ‘Here’s why this won’t work’ variety rather than ‘I’ve tried what you just shared, […]

Work That’s Fulfilling, Fruitful, and Fun I’m a big fan of Patrick Lencioni, his team at The Table Group, and their mission to make companies more successful and work more fulfilling. In listening to their podcast At the Table with Patrick Lencioni, I’m continually impressed with the team’s commitment to build trust with each other. […]

A Walk Through Jell-O “It was like walking through Jell-O. It worked, but it sure could have been faster and easier.” That’s the statement I heard from a leader recently who shared what it was like before she reached out for support. I laughed as I visualized her and her team wading waist-deep through a […]

I’ve Been Thinking… Back in 2018, a friend gifted me with I’ve been Thinking…, Maria Shriver’s book that’s filled with reflections for a more meaningful life. After reading the book, I began sharing one of its many profound excerpts with audiences for whom I’d been hired to speak: “The truth is, we all want someone […]

The Sunday Blues are Really a Thing Patrick Lencioni, in his book The 6 Types of Working Genius, calls it the Sunday blues. It’s that feeling of dread that creeps up during your Sunday fun. While you’re enjoying brunch with friends, playing baseball with the kids, or watching the game with family, your brain starts […]

Self-Checkout and Herd Mentality Do you remember when self-checkout became an option at stores like Wal-Mart? It started with just a couple of lanes dedicated to customers scanning their own purchases and eventually got to the point we’re at now with far more self-checkout stations than cashier-led options. For a while, I saw others’ negative […]

Every year in December, I enjoy the many social media posts of appreciation and recognition from leaders to their team members. Business owners, C-suite leaders, directors, managers, and supervisors post pictures and praise for the hard work, the dedication, and the exceptional results their teams achieved over the course of the year. Posts of praise […]

The Notoriety of ‘If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It’ “That’s how we’ve always done it.” A stance that’s notorious for being the most dangerous one in business. A stance that’s been shared with distaste five times with as many of my clients in the past month.

Danny Tanner and Man Behind the Character Until the beginning of this year, anytime Bob Saget’s name came up, I’d think of my early adult years. Danny Tanner, Bob Saget’s character on Full House, was on in the background of my home frequently back in those days. In January, though, when he unexpectedly passed away, […]

The ‘New’ Phenomenon The concept of quiet quitting has gotten a lot of airtime in recent months. In its simplest form, quiet quitting is the practice of doing the bare minimum at work and nothing more. When I began reading about this ‘new’ phenomenon, it felt eerily familiar to me. Then I remembered the Seinfeld […]

The Ideal Situation Read any article or book about effective leadership, and you’ll find exceptional listening and clear communication to be two tips offered. It makes sense, right? When your team member comes to you with a challenge, the best thing you can do is listen. Without interrupting. Without chiming in with solutions. Then when […]

The Letter of Resignation You Never Expected Perhaps you’ve seen this quote attributed to Tim McClure on social media: “The biggest concern for any organization should be when their most passionate people become quiet.” Sometimes it happens over the course of time, and you don’t even notice it. That is, until the day that passionate […]

Showing Up as a Stressed Leader I’d been working with Adam for a month when he described a situation that had his stress level at an all-time high. As Director of Operations at a rapidly growing company, Adam is ambitious, goal-driven, willing to take risks, and organized. When I was initially hired by Adam’s employer […]

Lack of Accountability: It’s Not a Good Look I recently had a poor experience with a company I hired to complete a project. Over our three-month engagement, I repeatedly felt pushed aside and insignificant. The company’s phone system sends its customers straight to voicemail, and after leaving messages on several occasions, I never received a […]

The Common Theme That’s Far Too Common I noticed a theme in three recent conversations. Convo 1 was with a client who shared she feels like she’ll never “catch up”. She works 60 – 70 hours each week, and in her long workdays, she rarely gets up from her desk to take a break of […]

The Normalization of Feelings “I’m okay. I’m not scared. I’m brave.” I smiled hearing those words from my four-year-old granddaughter as I tucked her into bed on a recent Saturday night. I’d turned the lamp on low, surrounded her with stuffed animals she’d brought from home, kissed her, and asked if she was okay. And […]

What-If Questions and the Choices We Make What-if questions are never scarce on social media. They give you the space to ponder decisions you’d make in various, unlikely circumstances: If you had a superpower, which one would you want, and why? If you won the lottery, would you keep working your current job, give most […]

As 2021 winds down, it seems like the perfect time for some reflection. In my work with leaders, I have found most are at either end of a wide spectrum. Some go the route of completely chilling out and relaxing after the hard work they’ve put in all year. Others choose not to extinguish the […]

Compassion is a Must-Have As part of my own professional development, I joined a group focused on relationship building. The coach who leads the group recently asked us to share a message of who and how we help. I shared my message: I help evolving leaders build a motivated, effective team by embracing not only […]

A New Kind of Ghost As a young girl, I was used to hearing about ghosts in the month of October. Of course, right? Skeletons, goblins, jack-o-lanterns, and ghosts. They’re all part of the scariness and fun of Halloween. In recent years, though, ghosting has taken on a new meaning. It first made its presence […]

Ordinary Joe and Parallel Stories I’ve become obsessed after only two episodes of the new NBC show Ordinary Joe. In it, the main character Joe has three choices in front of him on his college graduation day: spend the day with Amy, a girl he just met; spend it with Jenny, a girl he’s known […]

The Tweet That Got Me Thinking Dan Price, CEO of Gravity Payments, recently tweeted: “An Ohio factory raised pay from $13.70 to $18.25. Its staff grew 35%. Profit doubled. The extra labor helped them fill more orders. After I doubled minimum wage at our company, our revenue tripled. Invest in your employees, and your business […]

The Joy of Harmonious Dialogue You know the feeling of talking with someone and realizing in the course of the conversation that you and that other person ‘get’ each other? You speak the same language, have like values, and see the world in similar ways. I got to experience that feeling recently when I ran […]

The Devil is in the Details The line was 15 people deep outside the DMV when I arrived to renew my license and get my REAL ID. According to the paperwork I’d received from the Secretary of State, Illinois residents will need the REAL ID to board domestic flights beginning October 1, 2021. I’d spent […]

Making decisions was once a kid’s game. As summer draws near, my mind goes to the carefree summers I enjoyed as a kid. For those three months from sunup to sundown, my siblings, neighborhood friends, and I would create nonstop fun from one back yard to the next. One of our favorite summertime games was […]

It’s a Zoom world we live in. I joined a Zoom meeting along with 67 other professionals last week. Tiny Brady Bunch squares popped up all over my computer screen, most of them with a simple first name to represent who was ‘behind’ the square. Only a handful of faces looked back at me. The […]

The Superhero in the Lego Bucket When my first grandson was born 10 years ago, our toy collection was quite small. Just a few stray toys from my own kids that I’d never managed to donate all those years ago. A decade later, that toy collection has grown quite a bit as has the number […]

Gifts from the Universe It seems the older I get, the more I notice the gifts the Universe provides for me. Case in point—One day last week I saw the following quote on social media: “A ship is safe in a harbor, but that is not what ships are built for.” This comes from the […]

The scene was set. I saw the running. I heard the honks. I felt the energy. But I still wasn’t sure what was happening. The action was about a block and a half down the road along my daily walking route. With my less-than-stellar vision, I could see two girls, one running and one zipping […]

2020. A year that will go down in infamy. In the year 2100, kids who are currently five years old will be telling their great grandkids about remote learning, masks, and the vaccine that turned things around (fingers crossed). It’s true this isn’t the year any of us imagined when we celebrated on January 1. […]

The Love Language Phenomenon The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman has been around since 1992 and has sold over 12 million copies. That means for almost 30 years people have not only been learning about their own preferred language when it comes to love; they’ve also been encouraging their partners to take the quiz so […]

As a student, English was one of my favorite subjects. I enjoyed learning about grammar and fondly remember diagramming sentences in fourth grade. Those memories came rushing back recently when a client told me, “I used a period, not a comma, and it was incredible!” She wasn’t talking about English class, though. She was talking […]

Saying goodbye to summer seemed to be easy for many this year. I’m not sure if it’s the desire to scoot 2020 along as fast as we can with the hope that 2021 will bring blessings this year hasn’t or if it’s just that I’m around more people who prefer pumpkin spice lattes to the […]

Sure, the negative effects are there. COVID-19 is responsible for many negative effects that we’re reminded of daily in what seems like an auto-repeat format. On TV, the radio, and online as well as communication from friends, family, and colleagues, the talk of COVID and everything horrible about it is anything but scarce. But does […]

This year is a year for leaders to shine. You can shine, too. The year 2020 is a year many may want to forget. I believe 2020 is a year for leaders to shine. It’s a year where leaders have even more opportunity to grow their leadership abilities. A year where leaders can show their […]

How to become an effective leader starts with your containers. I have a confession to make. I am obsessed with containers. Big or small, round or square, plastic or metal—they fascinate me. I’ve always attributed this obsession to my need to be well-organized. After all, who doesn’t enjoy opening the pantry door and seeing crackers, […]

A new darkness has come over the world, it seems. A darkness that brings with it uncertainty, fear, anger, sadness, and impatience. And yet in the midst of the darkness, some normalcy remains for there is still work to accomplish, projects to complete, deadlines to meet, and client relationships to nurture.

I clumsily stepped onto the escalator. As I adjusted my carry-on bag to fit on the step with me, I simultaneously hoisted my laptop bag more securely over my shoulder. Chicago O’Hare is a busy airport so I was mindful of keeping my things close to leave space for the sprinters who may run past […]

Our minds are powerful. The older I get, the more I’m in tune with the power of the mind. I’ve heard people compare a mind to fertile ground. Whatever is planted in it will flourish. I’ve also heard the mind compared to a rubber band because of its ability to stretch and grow. That growth […]

Rewrite your story with inspiration and action. I expand in abundance, success, and love every day as I inspire those around me to do the same. I read that affirmation, or ultimate success mantra (USM), last year in The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. The content of the book taught me so much, but it […]

Are there areas of your life you’re working to change? We needed new furniture. The set my husband and I had had for several years was in dire need of retirement. When guests would come over and sit on our couch or big, comfy chair, I worried they may not be able to get back […]

Now that you know your approach, it’s time to learn from it. Last month we talked tortoises, hares, and ostriches. Sounds a bit like Dorothy’s lions and tigers and bears, and maybe it is just a bit. Dorothy and her friends feared the lions, tigers, and bears they thought they may encounter, and we, too, […]

You’re working on changing your story. You’ve put in the work and taken all the action you should take. But you’re still not getting the results you want. What do I do now? You’re not alone. This is one of the most frequent statements coaches hear from their clients. The client hires the coach to […]