The Love Language Phenomenon

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman has been around since 1992 and has sold over 12 million copies. That means for almost 30 years people have not only been learning about their own preferred language when it comes to love; they’ve also been encouraging their partners to take the quiz so they can be ‘in the know’ about their preferences.

The Investment Language Proposition

A recent podcast review of the book (Shelf Help with Tracy and Amanda) got me thinking about other kinds of languages—or preferences—we all have. For instance, I completed an inventory recently that came from my financial advisor. [Read more…] about Invest in YOU and Win- But Only Every Time

As a student, English was one of my favorite subjects. I enjoyed learning about grammar and fondly remember diagramming sentences in fourth grade. Those memories came rushing back recently when a client told me, “I used a period, not a comma, and it was incredible!”

She wasn’t talking about English class, though. She was talking about a conversation she’d had with her team member at work.

Saying goodbye to summer seemed to be easy for many this year. I’m not sure if it’s the desire to scoot 2020 along as fast as we can with the hope that 2021 will bring blessings this year hasn’t or if it’s just that I’m around more people who prefer pumpkin spice lattes to the Arnold Palmers that summer delivers. Regardless, throughout the month of August I began seeing houses adorned with beautiful fall mums, pumpkins, and even yard displays with bales of hay, scarecrows, and Halloween decorations.

2020 may not provide the Halloween we’re used to, but that doesn’t mean we’ve given up the wearing of costumes. I actually believe many of us wear them every day—just not in the form of witches, princesses, and superheroes like we once did. [Read more…] about Save the Costumes for Halloween

Sure, the negative effects are there.

COVID-19 is responsible for many negative effects that we’re reminded of daily in what seems like an auto-repeat format. On TV, the radio, and online as well as communication from friends, family, and colleagues, the talk of COVID and everything horrible about it is anything but scarce. But does it have to be that way?

Trust me; I get that the negative effects are there. Many of them are factual and can be proven. [Read more…] about Leadership Wins in the Time of COVID-19

This year is a year for leaders to shine. You can shine, too.

The year 2020 is a year many may want to forget. I believe 2020 is a year for leaders to shine. It’s a year where leaders have even more opportunity to grow their leadership abilities. A year where leaders can show their teams what they’re really made of. A year for leaders to develop resilience, determination, and discipline like they’ve never known before.

As organizations are moving through the various stages of change, I’ve begun sharing the ABC method with them. It’s simple. It’s effective. And it’s something that can be used at any time. [Read more…] about The ABCs of Leading Through Change

How to become an effective leader starts with your containers.

I have a confession to make. I am obsessed with containers. Big or small, round or square, plastic or metal—they fascinate me. I’ve always attributed this obsession to my need to be well-organized. After all, who doesn’t enjoy opening the pantry door and seeing crackers, nuts, and baking products all stacked neatly in containers? (Please tell me I’m not alone in this!)

The precision of it all fills my heart with joy, and I’ve come to realize that this container obsession doesn’t just happen in my pantry. It shows up in other areas of my life, too.

My brain, for instance, has a nice lineup of containers filled with long-held beliefs. [Read more…] about Step 1 to Leading Others Effectively

A new darkness has come over the world, it seems. A darkness that brings with it uncertainty, fear, anger, sadness, and impatience.

And yet in the midst of the darkness, some normalcy remains for there is still work to accomplish, projects to complete, deadlines to meet, and client relationships to nurture. [Read more…] about 5 Tips for Leading Your Teams to Work From Home

I clumsily stepped onto the escalator. As I adjusted my carry-on bag to fit on the step with me, I simultaneously hoisted my laptop bag more securely over my shoulder. Chicago O’Hare is a busy airport so I was mindful of keeping my things close to leave space for the sprinters who may run past me on the way down. [Read more…] about 3 Tips to Help You Lead Yourself and Others

Our minds are powerful.

The older I get, the more I’m in tune with the power of the mind. I’ve heard people compare a mind to fertile ground. Whatever is planted in it will flourish.

I’ve also heard the mind compared to a rubber band because of its ability to stretch and grow. That growth theme is present in the Oliver Wendell Holmes quote, “The mind, once expanded to the dimensions of larger ideas, never returns to its original size.” [Read more…] about Did You Know Your Mind is Like a Rubber Band?

Rewrite your story with inspiration and action.

I expand in abundance, success, and love every day as I inspire those around me to do the same.

I read that affirmation, or ultimate success mantra (USM), last year in The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. The content of the book taught me so much, but it was this affirmation that I ran with upon finishing the book. I eagerly wrote it on Post-it notes and put one on the mirror in my bathroom, another on the dashboard in my car, and a third in my wallet. I wanted to see it and read it and soak it in multiple times per day. [Read more…] about 3 Practices That Helped Me Rewrite My Story

Are there areas of your life you’re working to change?

We needed new furniture. The set my husband and I had had for several years was in dire need of retirement. When guests would come over and sit on our couch or big, comfy chair, I worried they may not be able to get back up due to the years of use those cushions had endured. [Read more…] about 4 Tips for Committing to Change in a New Year

Now that you know your approach, it’s time to learn from it.

Last month we talked tortoises, hares, and ostriches. Sounds a bit like Dorothy’s lions and tigers and bears, and maybe it is just a bit. Dorothy and her friends feared the lions, tigers, and bears they thought they may encounter, and we, too, fear lack of progress with our goals. When we realize that’s exactly what’s happening, we show up as a tortoise, hare, or ostrich. None of these approaches is ideal, but it’s how many of us show up as we deal with the frustration of not achieving what it is we most want. [Read more…] about You’re a Tortoise. Now Let’s Apply That To Your Life.

You’re working on changing your story.

You’ve put in the work and taken all the action you should take. But you’re still not getting the results you want.

What do I do now?

You’re not alone. This is one of the most frequent statements coaches hear from their clients. The client hires the coach to accomplish a goal, achieve a milestone, or realize a result; she invests time and money in that coach; she does all the things; and she spins out when those things don’t produce the desired result.

You might be asking yourself, what am I doing wrong? [Read more…] about I’m Taking All the Actions and Still Not Getting Results. Now what?

Allowing Room in Our Lives for our Needs

I am a woman of routine. I eat the same five or six meals with no desire to venture too far out of what I know and like. I stay in touch with the same friends I’ve had for decades—the ones who have known me through many stages of life. I go to the same church I’ve always been part of. And I walk the same three-and-a-half-mile route several times each week soaking in the beauty of the same tree each time I walk past it. Right behind the tree is the house my parents moved into on my first wedding anniversary. My dad spent 30 years there; my mom spent 20. After they were both gone, my daughter and her family bought the house, and it is where they’re now raising their family. [Read more…] about Are You Making Room in Your Life to Fulfill Your Needs?

Crossing from Unsatisfied to Fulfilled

Last month, I shared the importance of getting our feet muddy while going after desired changes in life and crossing what I call the Ditch of Despair. This month is all about the how-to portion of crossing that ditch. How exactly do we get from the side of the ditch we’re on, the side where we’re unsatisfied, to the other side, the side where our biggest dreams come true? [Read more…] about The Ditch of Despair, Part 2: How to Cross the Ditch

Change starts slowly.

Women hire me because they long for change. They want to feel more fulfilled in their relationship with their significant other. They want the business they started to be more successful. They want to be fully present with their kids after the workday is over (even when emails and texts continue finding them at home). They want to feel less overwhelmed, less stressed, and more worthy of an incredible life.

These women not only long for change; they long for change that happens quickly and easily. And they don’t want to get stuck along the way in what I refer to as the “ditch of despair.” [Read more…] about The Ditch of Despair, Part 1: Understanding the Work of Change

Passion and Purpose

Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, Love suggests there are two types of people in the world: we all either fall into the jackhammer or the hummingbird category. When I first heard about her theory, it intrigued me. 

So what is this theory? To understand that, we first have to understand the two categories. [Read more…] about “Following Your Passion” Isn’t for Everyone

What is spiritual clutter?

With the popularity of Marie Kondo and her Netflix series Tidying Up, many of us are paying more attention to the physical clutter in our lives. Some of us are even clearing out that clutter.

Marie’s goal, according to her website, is to help more people tidy their spaces by choosing joy. As Marie helps families rid themselves of things that no longer bring them joy, she asks them to thank those items for what they’ve provided. Essentially the KonMari method not only helps people clear their physical clutter; it also helps them clear their spiritual clutter.

Spiritual clutter is lack of peace; lack of contentment; lack of forgiveness. [Read more…] about Decluttering Part 5: Spiritual Clutter

Emotions Impacting Your Life

I am a life coach. When I share my profession with people, I get a variety of responses. I know when I’ve met someone who gets what I do when I hear this:

“Great! I need to ask you something!” And this post is dedicated to those people. The questions they ask are also often asked by others. They’re important questions. They’re meaningful questions. And they’re questions that get to the core of what all humans experience. [Read more…] about Decluttering Part 4: Emotional Clutter

Mental Clutter

Clutter. When we hear the word, we most often think of physical things—the stuff that literally gets in our way, the papers that cover our dining room tables, the boxes full of we-don’t-even-remember-what on our shelves. It’s another type of clutter, though, that is responsible for holding us back and getting in our way in an even more invasive manner—mental clutter. [Read more…] about Decluttering Part 3: Clearing Out Mental Clutter

Digital Clutter

In the five decades I’ve spent on this planet, technology just keeps making life easier. We no longer need to unfold that huge map in the car when trying to find our vacation destination (thank goodness). Wondering what the outside temp is? No need to walk out the front door, look in today’s newspaper, or even get out of bed. Simply ask Alexa (or Echo or Siri…you get it), and you’ve got your answer. CDs, cassettes, and those wonderful eight-track tapes are also a thing of the past now that music streams wherever and whenever we want it.  [Read more…] about Decluttering Part 2: Digital Clutter

Clutter from All the Stuff

I think we can all agree we have too much stuff. For the few who may not be in agreement, here are some startling statistics from becomingminimalist.com:

• Storage units are part of a billion-dollar industry.
• The average American home holds 300,000 items.
• 25 percent of people with two-car garages don’t have room to park cars inside them.
• Over the course of our lifetime, we will spend a total of 3,680 hours searching for misplaced items.

Yes, physical clutter is a thing. A really big thing for so many people.  [Read more…] about Decluttering Part 1: Physical Clutter

A New Year with Less Clutter

A new year. A fresh start. It seems January is the one month of the year we all agree to set ourselves up for success in the year ahead. We wipe the slate clean and energetically jump into the new year with resolutions and goals to achieve.

That energy? It doesn’t last long. The clutter we tried to manage in the prior year somehow finds its way into the new year. Before we know it, we’re back to doing everything the way we used to, the way that feels comfortable and easy. It’s also the way that doesn’t help us achieve what it is we most want in life.  [Read more…] about Clearing Our Clutter for an Extraordinary Year

Are there areas of your life you’re working to change?

We needed new furniture. The set my husband and I had had for several years was in dire need of retirement. When guests would come over and sit on our couch or big, comfy chair, I worried they may not be able to get back up due to the years of use those cushions had endured. [Read more…] about 4 Tips for Committing to Change in a New Year

Recognizing Old Patterns

The holiday season is upon us again. For some, that fact brings thoughts of delicious food, memorable songs, fond traditions, and amazing time with family. For others, not so much. In fact, according to a survey from Think Finance, forty-five percent of Americans would actually prefer to skip Christmas.

There are probably as many reasons for why some people dread the holidays as there are toys on Santa’s sleigh for all the children in the world. For today’s purposes, though, let’s tie the holiday theme back to last month’s theme of replacing our bad habits with good ones.  [Read more…] about Change Your Old Pattern of Coping with the Holidays to Enjoying Them

Recognizing Old Habits

I raised a son who is an analyzer extraordinaire. When our family (eight adults and five young kids) decided to spend a week together in one house for a vacation we’d never forget, our son got to work finding the perfect house for our crew. He pored over the listings and finally found a home that was built just a few months ago. It had everything we needed: bedrooms and bathrooms for us all, a large kitchen/dining/living area, outside decks and patios and lanais, and even a pool for everyone to enjoy.

When we arrived, though, we learned it also had something we didn’t need—a ground floor made up of a laundry room, bathroom, and kids’ bedroom along with a sliding door leading out to a gorgeous pool.  [Read more…] about Making Lasting Change in Your Life Starts with Nourishing Good Habits

Effective Leadership Requires Many Skills, Including Self-Care

Leadership is difficult. It involves a daily lineup of needed skills and responsibilities. Diplomacy, accountability, problem solving, decision making, delegating, goal setting, team building, innovative thinking… The list could go on for days.

Effective leaders—the kind that leave a positive imprint on our professional slate—understand that consistently bringing their A-game to their leadership role is essential. It is that A-game that develops team members and encourages them to bring their best to the table impacting the overall success of an organization.

I have the privilege of working with several A-game leaders, and I’ve been amazed at how many of them add a needed item to each day’s to-do list: self-care.  [Read more…] about Becoming a Leader Part 3: Practicing Self-Care

Be a Better Leader by Knowing Your Truth

The truth. It’s what we expect from others, and yet, it’s often difficult to accept when we do receive it. Life teaches us that sometimes the truth hurts. And often when it does, that’s exactly what we need to create a new, better truth. What is a better truth? A better truth is what your everyday results can be—if you accept the hard truth and commit to implementing changes. Oh, boy, does that sound simple! It rarely is, though, right?  [Read more…] about Becoming a Leader Part 2: Embracing the Hard Truth

Qualities of Leadership

A 45-minute break between client meetings typically means I head to the nearest coffee shop. Once inside I’ll cover my lap with a napkin for warmth from the frigid air-conditioned atmosphere of noisy espresso machines, people chatting and the clacking of laptop keyboards.

On this day, though, I decided to practice the self-care I encourage my female coaching clients to practice. I went to a nearby park and sat on a bench hoping to soak in some of the summer sun before I walked the short distance to my next meeting.  [Read more…] about Becoming a Leader Part 1: Winning Trust with Curiosity

Understanding

I watched an acquaintance from afar for a few months. First, I noticed she’d been dropping out of activities she’d always been part of. Someone who had been a steady presence in my circle of activities vanished, and I wasn’t sure why. She is the dynamo I’d always seen taking charge of committees and helping those in need and signing on to lead new initiatives.

Next, my grandson told me she was ill and couldn’t continue teaching his class (a volunteer position I knew she loved so much). At the time, I remember hoping it was a short-lived illness. Soon I did see her here and there. I didn’t ask her about her illness, though, for fear I’d be prying.  [Read more…] about 3 Unexpected Lessons on Making a Lasting Impact on Others and Yourself

Born Introvert

Being the seventh of eight children, there were many traditions well underway by the time I came along. One such tradition was the baby picture from Olan Mills we each had taken at around a year old. The six pictures before mine each showed a baby smiling from ear to ear. Mine? Not so much. I was a baby with curls on her head frowning at the photographer. After many attempts to get a smile out of that baby, Mom told me he finally snapped the pic of the frowning baby, giving up. Some would say I just wasn’t in the mood for a picture that day.

As time went on, though, and I moved beyond the childhood years, I came to realize that my you-don’t-impress-me-much attitude was sticking with me. [Read more…] about What Being an Introvert Looks Like for This Entrepreneur

The Hamster Wheel

Wake up. Shower and get ready. Go to work. Do the work. Drive home. Make dinner. Clean up the mess. Go to bed. Repeat. And repeat again. And again and again and again. It’s the hamster wheel of life that we often don’t even realize we’re on.

I remember running on that hamster wheel earlier in my career. I’d earned a job title that included the word director, and that meant my time while at work had to be used in the most effective ways. I needed to be on all day (run, hamster, run). The meetings I was part of needed to be focused on the agenda’s bullet points. The employees who came to me needed answers quickly so they could get back to the work of bringing on more clients and keeping the current ones happy. My calendar had to be full of appointments that would ultimately increase the bottom line for the organization.  [Read more…] about 3 Tips to Help You Take Charge of Your Time and Your Life

Networking.

When you read the word, what comes to mind for you? Joy? Excitement? Eagerness? Anticipation?

Or would you rather get a root canal than go to another networking event swarming with people focused on self-promotion and selling?

I recently attended a networking luncheon with the intention of learning more about the topic being shared as well as meeting some people I could get to know better at one-to-one meetings in the coming weeks. I accomplished my first goal but can’t say I’m satisfied with my progress toward the second.  [Read more…] about 3 Networking Tips to Help You Achieve Your Best ROI

Handling the Unexpected

A man is called into his boss’s office where he is ceremoniously told his 17 years with the company are much appreciated, but his employment is coming to an end due to a reduction in force.

A girl is called out of her 7th-grade science class so her mom can share the news that her dad was killed by a drunk driver on his way to work that morning.

A seasoned professional who is reaping the rewards of his career success gets the results of his recent medical tests, and he doesn’t get the news he was hoping for.

A young woman in her first year of college reads the + sign on her pregnancy test.

What do all of these people have in common? They’ve all found themselves in a situation they never would have chosen. And they all have a choice in how they handle it.  [Read more…] about Lifehack: How to Choose Happiness Even in Less Than Ideal Situations

Learning and Retaining Skills

How old were you when you learned to ride a bike? Four, five, six, or seven-years-old? I think I was five or six when my older brother and sisters began working with me day after day after day.

The process was simple: I’d get on the bike, and they’d run along beside me while holding the back of my seat. I’d scream from fear as I did my best to fall onto the soft grass rather than on the sidewalk. I’d get up, and we’d start the process all over again the next day.  [Read more…] about How to Retain the Soft Skills You Learn

It’s a New Year

As we turn the calendar page to a new year, many of us are motivated by the clean-slate feeling that a new year brings. We get caught up in how this year will be different than the last. We’ll eat healthier; go to the gym more frequently; learn new skills to help us in our work roles; and finally understand the new technology in our own homes (thanks to our kids who explain it to us!).

With that high level of motivation, though, how often do we think about sharpening our soft skills?  [Read more…] about Let Soft Skills Lead You to Job Success in the New Year

A Solemn Oath for a Girl

On my honor, I will try:
To serve God and my country,
To help people at all times,
And to live by the Girl Scout Law

I remember reciting this pledge to kick off each Girl Scout meeting many years ago when I was learning to cook, sew, and provide childcare all in an attempt to earn those badges for my sash. I hadn’t thought about those scouting years in decades, but tucked inside a goodie bag I received at a networking event last month was a Girl Scout bookmark that really got me thinking. Right at the top of the bookmark, I read “DNA of a G.I.R.L.: She’s a go-getter, innovator, risk-taker, leader!”  [Read more…] about What I Learned about Being a Girl

Your Most Prized Possession

If someone were to ask you what is your most prized possession, what would your answer be? And is your answer today different than what it would have been earlier in life? As we move through the stages of life, we change, grow, and learn, and what’s important in one stage of life might not mean much to us a decade—or two or three—later.  [Read more…] about Recognizing Real Value Through The Power of Sharing

Is time your friend?

Leadership guru John Maxwell says:

“Time management is an oxymoron. Time is beyond our control, and the clock keeps ticking regardless of how we lead our lives. Priority management is the answer to maximizing the time we have.”

Last month we got the discussion rolling about how time actually CAN be our friend. Now it’s time to discuss how to take those many, many responsibilities that seem to end up on our plate each day and prioritize them. And since we’re thinking about those overstuffed plates, let’s fill them with healthy fare by making a priority management salad.  [Read more…] about Making Time Your Friend, Part Two

Time is Your Friend

Imagine you are holding $86,400 right now. Quite a chunk of change, right? What if you could actually receive that chunk of change—$86,400—every day for the rest of your life with just one stipulation? You must use ALL of the money every single day. Would you jump at the challenge of spending that money freely and entirely?  [Read more…] about 3 Tips to Make Time Your Friend, Part One

The Road to Greater Resilience

I stood on my tiptoes and reached for the familiar black box, the box that had ‘lived’ in our laundry room cabinet for the past 20 years. The clippers inside the box were used countless times over those years to give my two sons their summer haircuts- the kind that don’t require a comb for the months of June, July, and August!

[Read more…] about How to Stay Resilient in the Face of Fear

Doing for Others

Bogey. Birdie. Eagle. Common words for any avid golfer to hear and say. I wish I could say that’s how I know those words, but I am not a skilled golfer. I did, however, grow up under one’s guidance. My dad, the father of eight children, stayed active (and maybe saved his sanity!) by golfing regularly with a group of friends. I was the child who spent less time on the golf course than I did swimming in the club’s pool while Dad tried to beat his score from the prior week.

[Read more…] about Turning ‘Fore!’ into ‘For Others’

Be Kind to One Another

It seemed to happen in slow motion, and yet I couldn’t find a reasonable solution in the moment. I was in a busy airport refilling my water bottle at the fountain. I heard a loud voice but couldn’t be sure whether it was coming from someone being loud and fun or loud and mean. In fact, I couldn’t even find the source of the booming voice for a few seconds. Airports are full of people jetting off to exotic vacations, and sometimes the boisterous voices I hear are simply those of friends and family members who are excited to be escaping the stresses of real life for a while.

[Read more…] about How Being Kind Changes Our Behavior

Being Empowered

What is it that makes you ‘tick’? What is your passion? What were you made to do?

[Read more…] about The 3 Rs of Living Our True Passion

Getting a Different, Better, Clearer ‘Lens’

When I think of my career, I often wonder if I should make the word plural. Is it still called a career when you have ‘shifted gears’ and worked in vastly different industries (more than once, by the way), or is that when you switch to describing your professional history as careers? Regardless of the most correct terminology, I am continually amazed at the clarity I gain as I work my way further and further into my years as a professional.

[Read more…] about 3 Tips for Finding the Clarity You Need

Kindness

Tap, tap, tap, tap… fingers tapping away on keyboards. Business calls happening all around: “We’ll need to meet on that later this week. Can you do Friday?” And what’s that smell? Ah, yes—the delectable smell of buttery soft pretzels. It was just a typical day at the airport while I waited for my flight to board. And right about the time I noticed the normalcy of it all, the crying began.

[Read more…] about Taking Control with Kindness and a Little Go Fish

Accountability

Sing along with me if you remember the classic song “Already Gone” by the Eagles: “So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains, and we never even know we have the key.”

Who knew back when we were REALLY singing that song the utter truth of those simple words? We’ve all heard of accountability, right? We know what an important trait it is to have. And yet, when we tune in to the actual definition—Accountability: a personal choice to rise above one’s circumstances and demonstrate the ownership necessary for achieving desired results—do we really strive to project that trait each and every day? Or are we simply “living our lives in chains”?

[Read more…] about 4 Steps to Holding the Key to Accountability

We All Need the Same Basic Things

Having a ‘mixed bag’ of a career has been one of my greatest blessings in life. I taught eight-, nine-, and ten-year-olds for more than a decade and then spent the same amount of time with adults working in the legal industry in corporate America. I’m often asked by new acquaintances how I could have succeeded in two such different roles. They’re surprised to hear how very similar those roles actually were.

[Read more…] about Positive Change Begins with One Question